Hold On To Choices
by friendsforever0165
Summary: It's been three years since Allen came to the Black Order.Three years since Kanda and Allen started to fall in love with each other.Three years of fights and kisses.They knew each other better than anyone else.They couldn't live without each other. yullen


this is my first one shot ... I usually write full stories but I didn't want this to be a story since this wouldn't be long and I already over two stories going on. I want to try a one shot too ^.^.

Allen will act differently(Major major major OOCing. okay OOCing. not the Allen we know. he's OOCing. but we will see him in the later parts of the story)  
_also the 14th will not be in here._

Warning: You might get confused if you don't actually pay attention to the story line. As well of Yaoi of Yullen. Meaning Mostly Kanda and Allen. and some TykiXAllen. If you do not like yaoi or these pairings please leave now. If you don't mind or like it, please continue down.

disclaimer : I don't own this manga/anime in any form. the only time I will have it is when I have a lot of money to buy it(I only have ten dollars)

* * *

It's been three years since Allen came to the Black Order. Three years since Kanda and Allen started to fall in love with each other. Three years of fights and kisses. They knew each other better than anyone else. They couldn't live without each other. Love tangle in each other's life. But all of that was a lie. Nothing was real. That day broke it all. Everything shatters when Allen went with the Noah's. Things thought as the truth were lies. But lies were truth.

(Three years ago)

Two finders slowly paddle the canoe back into the Black Order's water ways. The sun had fallen with the moon still rising. The cold hair didn't affect them as their coats were warm enough for them. Only one stood out. His white hair wasn't cover. His eyes remain emotionless as the cold wind blew into his face. Only his black jacket covered him. He didn't move when the finders stood up. Not even taking notice of the finder's hand reaching out to him. Only when the finder called him, Allen, did he looked up.

"Master Allen. We have to go to Komui." The finder says. The emotionless boy didn't know this 'Komui'. When the finder saw Allen didn't understand he let a small laugh out. "I'm Toma. I forgot to tell you that earlier today. Komui is the leader in the Black Order basically. But the higher ups get to order him around though." Toma explains. "Do you want me to get someone else to help you go there?" Allen remains silent and still. He didn't know what to answer. He never been ask for anything expect for his master but his master asked him to be quiet about his past. Then Cross came into the picture for six months. Everything was different with him. He had to follow Cross like a goose hunt. Opening his mouth to respond, a grunt cut him short. Turning his face to meet another exorcist, Toma gave the blue haired exorcist a bow.

"Master Kanda welcome home. Are you going to Komui's office?" Kanda grunted. The man didn't want to spend more time with a finder. "Master Kanda." Toma called out again when Kanda didn't even stop. "This is Allen Walker. He's a new exorcist here. It seems Cross found him about six months ago. It seems he's a parasite."

"Che. Do it yourself." Kanda snap and walked off before he heard Allen got up. Turning to face the boy, he notices the cursed mark. Pointing the sword at Allen, he narrows his eyes. "Finder. Are you sure he's not on the Earl's side?" The name of the Earl's made Allen look up. Something flickers in his eyes but it disappeared as soon as he looked down. "Oi. Moyashi. Are you?"

_Lie._

"I don't think I am." Allen says, his word choice was careful. Looking up to Kanda, their cold eyes met.

_Find out about the order for me shounen._

"Che. Of course." Kanda turn around again and started to walk.

"Master Allen. May you go after Master Kanda? It seems I have to put this canoe away." Toma explain. Allen slowly got off the canoe and follow Kanda. His long black hair wave to each side as his pace didn't change when he heard Allen's small foot steps behind him. Allen didn't try to keep up with Kanda's fast pace. His slow walking pace kept him at least a meter apart and getting farther each second. Turning a corner, Allen still didn't try to keep up with the Asian's pace. But when he turned, the Asian wasn't that far. As if he waited for him.

"Oi. Here's the mission report." Storming into a room after a few more turns, he threw the packet to the Asian. Allen stared at the door way. Not entering or leaving. "What's my next mission?"

"Kanda. So soon? You just got back. Got to the mess hall and eat." Komui asks. He didn't want Kanda to leave that soon. Even with his curse healing him, he didn't want him to go on thin ice. Turning to the British boy he smiled. "You must be Allen Walker that General Cross found. Come in and sit down. General Cross told me you follow orders to much and don't use your own heart to think." Komui pulled a profile of Allen out. Looking back up, Allen was still at the door way. "Allen-kun. Come in."

"Che. Baka Moyashi." Kanda didn't hear anymore as he turns to leave the room.

"Wait. Kanda. Your next mission is with Allen-kun here." Komui cut in. "Allen-kun. You have permission to come in. You don't have to be so uptight here. We are family now." _Family? My family is at home. _Allen slowly walked into the room.

"Cross told me that this is my home from now on." Allen quietly says. His emotionless voice didn't faze anyone. Komui nodded.

"Yes this will be your home from now. It might not seem like it at first but I think you will adjust very quickly. First we need to get your innocence percentage and everything." Komui scan the sheet in front of him for everything. "It seems we only know that you are a parasite type. I'm sure Cross explains everything before then. Kanda. Can you wait here so we can get Allen all check out. By tomorrow afternoon, you will be able to leave. Maybe later in the night." Kanda growled at the news but other than that, he stayed silent.

"Che. Do whatever you want. Just call me when you finish and we set off right away." Kanda growl out quickly and then leaves the room without another word.

"Well then. Allen-kun. Ready to meet Helvelska?" Komui ask. Allen looks at Komui. He was here on orders and he had no word in anything.  
________________________________________about three hours later___________________________________________________

Allen tried on his coat. A little baggy but wasn't too big to move around without tripping. He didn't expect to be predicted as the _Destroyer of Time_. Dropping the title, his emotionless eyes turn to face the two new people with him. One was an Asian girl and the other was a red-headed boy. The red-head seems be making jokes and the girl was a laughing with him. Looking away, the girl turned her attention back to Allen.

"You must be Allen-kun. I'm Lenalee Lee. Komui's little sister. I'm also an exorcist." The Asian girl explains shaking hands with Allen. "I'm guessing Ni-san explain everything to you?" The emotionless boy didn't answer. Lavi and Lenalee looked at each other. Allen was kind of like Kanda but at least Kanda show anger.

"I'm Lavi. Future Bookman." Allen still stay silent. "Are you the shy type?" Lavi waved a hand in front of him but didn't get another reaction.

"Oi Moyashi."

"My name's Allen." His emotionless voice snaps.

"Che. Let's go. We have a mission to complete."

The train trample along the rail as it continue to go on it's journey. It was late at night and Kanda was sitting down with his eyes closed. It was actually silent without the red headed exorcist, Lavi, or Baka Usagi to Kanda to bother him. Or the troublesome greedy information hunter Bookman ask questions about his curse. There was only one person who he can handle if her brother didn't have a sisterly complex. Lenalee Lee. Opening his eyes, Allen was staring off to space. Just like a doll. But this doll did have emotion but just hid it away. Kanda had seen that flicker in his eyes when he talked about the Earl. He was being quiet because he didn't have orders? Growling, Allen didn't flinch. Most people would be afraid of him but Allen was calm.

On the other hand, Allen was bored. He just sat there for almost thirty minutes already, with no food too. It's been almost a day without food already. At least it was better than four days at his master's house. He had to follow his master's orders. Then he can go back to home, back to him.

"Oi. Moyashi. Stop acting." Kanda snap. He didn't like that. Allen didn't flinch from that either. To him, his master's words were absolute. He won't act unless his master wanted to act like himself.

"I don't know-" Allen began the lie. He didn't need to justify his actions so why was he?

"The hell you do?" Kanda snap. He frowns at himself. Why did he care? Everyone but Lavi acted themselves. Lavi did but he always keep in mind that he will be a Bookman sooner or later. He is making it harder for that to happen.

"Why do you care?" Allen remains calm and it bothered Kanda. His wall was built thick. It was hard and cold. Kanda just 'che'd' and turn away, not pushing the matter any farther. It wasn't his business at all but he didn't like it. Lenalee or Lavi could fix it later.

The rest of the ride to the mission was quiet. The mission was simple. They were to receive the innocence. Nothing more and nothing less. Kanda place the folder down and let out a silent sigh. Why was he pair up with a newbie? Lenalee had more patience with him, Lavi would had became friends with him easily too. So why him?

"Listen up Moyashi."

"My name is Allen." Allen's cold voice covered him

"I won't be saving your ass if you act recklessly in this mission. I don't know how well you control your emotions but don't let it get in the way." Kanda explain clearly.

"You don't have to worry about me Kanda. Like I said, why do you care? It seems you look like you are looking after me." Allen coldly snaps back. "I'm not a three year old." Kanda secretly smile. Anger was heard in it. _So he does have emotions. _Kanda thought. He was please that it was easy to get some emotions even though it's small.

Getting off the train, the light night was still getting darker. Allen was more tired than even and hungry. But he kept on walking after Kanda up into the mountain. Up and around trees, off the path and back, Kanda didn't slow down. Blinking a few times, they reached their destination. Goal was to find the innocence in a doll. A few finders should be guarding it if there's akumas. Smokes from fire were seen as they climb down into the abandon town. Passing five dead finders, Allen didn't glance back at them.

_No one is your comrade but us._

Allen still believed that still. Following Kanda up to a roof, an akuma was killing more finders till he can get to the innocence. A man was holding it in his hands. Kanda 'che'd' and pulled out Mugen. It was an easy job to finish. Before he could activate it, Allen shot at the akuma without paying attention to the other finders. His curse eye activated to the akuma. His gun like innocence turned back into a large claw. Jumping down, he pin the akuma down on the ground.

Kanda only watch Allen as he continue to beat the akuma's after akuma's. He didn't even pay attention around him as he destroyed them. At least three more finders were killed my Allen and five other injuries on the list. Kanda didn't see any emotions when Allen finishes his job. Blood splatter all over the boy, his white hair dripped of blood. Looking at his hand, Kanda narrowed it when Allen licked it and splattered it away.

"Are we done?" Allen ask coldly. The finders just looked in horror at Allen. Who would kill their own comrades? Even Kanda, KANDA, will not kill them like that.

"Che. What is Komui going to say about this?" Allen looks back at Kanda. Why would Komui be mad? They got the innocence. His master would be please for the bloodshed.

"What's wro-" Before he could finish Allen fainted. Kanda didn't caught Allen just in time before he hit the ground. Looking at the finders, one of them nodded and got the phone. Dialing Komui's number, Kanda sigh. Hearing some rumbling noise he frown. _He's hungry. Baka Moyashi and you are a parasite type. _Kanda thought.

"Komui said the next train home. Bring all injured finders to the hospital though." The finders says to Kanda. He narrows his eyes threateningly to the finder. "Uhhh...I see...It seems he fainted from not eating?" A few shouts on the phone was heard. Kanda guessed it was toward Allen for not eating. "Kanda-san. He says to bring him to the hospital too."

"Why me?" Kanda ask. Picking up the phone, he left Allen on the ground.

"Kanda...You can't just leave Allen alone. He's a newbie still. He doesn't understand on how his innocence work. I don't think General Cross made it clear that eating is important." Komui explain. Rustling knows was heard, Komui was writing this incident down. Kanda looked at Allen. His cold look was gone but the blood over him made him look like the devil's child. "Kanda?"

"Che. Baka Moyashi causing problems when you said you can take care of yourself." Kanda mutter. Hanging Komui up, he picked the boy up and walked out of the abandon town to the hospital.

(next day)

Allen opened his eyes to a white room. Blinking a few times, he sat up. Looking around, his silver eyes scan the clean room. Looking at his hands, he narrowed it when he realize they weren't cover in blood. Going up to his face, blood was clean off there too. Looking down at his arm, it was cover in an I.V. Placing an hand over it, he wrap his fingers around the cord. About to pull it out, Kanda place his hand over it.

"What the hell are you doing? You need that still? You fainted because you didn't have enough nutrition's in your body. When was the last time you ate?" Kanda snap. Allen blinked. Did he do something wrong?

"I don't know, maybe a day or two." Kanda's hand slap across the boy's cheek. Allen's eyes widen but they became emotionless as he bought his hand to cover his cheek.

"That was for Komui. He was worried over you since you need to eat more. A parasite needs a lot of food to be running. I don't know how you fought last night but that's bad for your body. Do you want to die?" Kanda snap. Allen remains silent.

"What did I do wrong?" Allen asks. "I didn't ask anyone to worry over me."

"Che. Baka Moyashi. You're stupider than I thought." Allen looked down at his hands. Everything seem so new to him. His master didn't act like this; his teacher didn't act like this, so why did they act like that. Worrying over him and telling him to do something for his own good. He usually just follow orders.

"Is eating an order?" Allen asks quietly. His wall was almost down. Kanda frown. _Doens't he know that eating is needed for the body anyways?_

"If you want to it as that." Kanda says before he walked out.

-----

The next three months flew by. From an emotionless Allen and to showing more emotions. Everyone was becoming friends with the young boy. The boy also gather two more exorcist, Marando Loto and Krory(need full name). With each passing day, the order seems to adore the white hair exorcist more. Even though he killed some finders, they took the incident as an accident since it was his first mission. At first Allen was like Kanda. Ignoring and neglecting everything that came across him. But he slowly open up. Only his past remain a secret like most.

Lenalee and Lavi still kept a watch on Allen's diet. Even though he does ate a lot, his habit of forgetting to eat was a hard one to break. Allen didn't mean to forget but every time he trains before a meal, he just forgets it till someone gets him for dinner. Timcampy, a golem from Cross, now stays with Allen after a week in the Order. The golden golem follows Allen like a lost dog. Not even leaving his master side for a few seconds unless order too.

Something bothers Kanda though. Allen seems to be home sick kind of. He partly likes the place here but wants to be somewhere else here is what it seems to Kanda. Allen would disappear for a few minutes to hours at a time sometimes. No one really gave a thought because Allen always came back. But every time Allen seems happier. And Kanda didn't like that. It seems like a meeting with someone he likes.

The topic of the _Destroyer of Time_ was rarely brought up. No one knew what to think of the title, they never talked about it. Allen didn't seem to bother about it either. Many people thought it was just a title for the end of the way. Nothing more nothing less.

Allen sat down on his bed. A smile was on his face. He remembered how to show emotions. When he smiled at his master he didn't seem happy though. He question why was he smiling without permission so he took it off. The order seems more like home but Master was his home still.

_I'm his._

-----

"Allen." Lenalee shouted. Her pony tails scatter around as she ran to him. Her green eyes light up when Allen smile. "You smiled. It still surprises me when you first smiled three months ago after your third mission. I guess you weren't comfortable with us yet. But it seems Kanda was able to bring some emotion out from you too."

_You have permission to show your emotions, shounen._

"I guess." Allen quietly says. Lenalee takes Allen in her hand making his eyes widen. "uh....Wouldn't Komui mind?" Lenalee laughed.

"You're so innocent. Nii-san likes you. You won't do anything to me." Lenalee explain to the 'innocent' Allen. "I'm sure Allen is the most innocent 15 year-old I know. Every boy I meet on my mission isn't on my brother's approval list." Lenalee smiled again.

"Is that so... Do you need anything...Lena..Lee?" Allen asks shyly. He wasn't use to of expressing his emotion unless his Master did that to him. It was kind of awkward to use other people's name but Master and Kanda. The names were weird on his tongue as he spoke but they were easier to say now.

"Nii-san says there's a mission for you. You will be going with Lavi and Kanda this time. It seems there are a few Akuma attacks and two innocence are working together. This will be a long journey to Greenland. You will be going by boat once you reach the coast line by train. It probably will take three weeks maximum I think. But you will spend a month on the mission. I doubt that it will take that long though."

The trio soon set off for their long journey. Kanda was pissed that he has Allen and Lavi with him. Each day seems to be pure torture to Kanda, but when only Allen was with him, it seems nice. Lavi didn't stay still each day either. Three weeks filled of meeting new people and earning more information. Allen either tagged along with Lavi or went to sit up in the deck, unlike Kanda who tried to avoid everyone. The three weeks were long to Kanda. From sunny sailing to rough seas as the weather changed. Allen was quieter than usually too. Everything was out of place for to the boy. The golden golem was the only thing to comfort him if no one gave attention to Allen or kept him company.

When the three week ended, Allen was relief to be on the ground again. He was sick of eating sea food and having a few select types of food. He wanted something good to eat now. Going onto the ice land, he pulled his hood up. Lavi soon follow after, his eyes scan everywhere. This wasn't his first time in Greenland but it's been so long since he came here.

_Plan is in place._

Kanda looked around. His instincts were kicking in and a bad feeling went with it. Looking at Allen for some reason the boy, Allen was staring off in the land. For some reason, the warning is coming from the boy. Allen then started running without a reason. His cursed eye activates. The curse had grown to over the past three months. Lavi and Kanda follow Allen closely. They didn't understand what Allen was doing but they knew Akuma's were nearby.

"Moyashi-chan. How many Akuma's are there?"

"It's Allen Bakanda. Fifteen I think." His emotions were running wild. From cold to determined to sadist.

"You think Moyashi. Give us real number." Kanda snap. Allen stops in his track. The air went cold as the Akuma surrounded them. Lavi scan them. At least one out of five were level three's and three out of five were level two's.

"Do you still want an answer?" A sarcastic tone was heard from Allen making Kanda growl at him. "There's one Noah but I can't find him."

"Shounen are you looking for me?" The three turn to face a man. His curly brown hair was pull back so his stigmata were showing. His golden eyes stood out of his shaded skin. A smirk was place on his feature. Allen was frozen. His master was here. The Noah didn't even look at him. His right hand pull the cigarette out of his mouth and threw it down onto the ground. Stepping on it, he rub the bud away.

"Tyki Mikk." Allen spat.

_Act like you hate me._

"Why are you here?" Allen activate his innocence.

"Five innocence today. The Earl would be happy." Allen flinch at the name Earl. Kanda saw that familiar flicker in the boy's eyes. Looking at the Noah, his smirk was gone with a small smile. Butterflies were around him as the Akuma's are becoming more impatient. "Shounen. It's been so long? How have you been?"

"You meet him before Moyashi?" Kanda snap at Allen. Allen ignored the outburst from his comrade.

"Yu. Give him some time to answer." Lavi cuts in between the two. He was just as curious as Kanda was.

"What do you want Tyki?" Allen growl out. Lavi pulled out his innocence when Allen pointed his arm at Tyki. He was uneasy about the Noah in front of them. It seems Allen knew more about the Noah than Lavi, which was rare. Looking at the Noah again, his eye scans for anything special about him. Only his stigmata stood out. Other than that, nothing else stood out. Looking at Allen, his silver eyes flared up with anger and love? His green eyes turn to Kanda. His eyes had hardened at the Noah.

"The Earl has a list for me to kill. It seems you're on the list. But I guess I can kill everyone else here."

Allen stepped back when Tyki step forward. He knew his master was being serious. His eyes widen but harden the next. Why would his master kill him? Tyki lifted his hand up and waved it toward the group. Allen fired at the akuma who lunged at him at the wave. After the first shot, akuma after akuma came at the trio. A plan wasn't on mind as they split into solo fighting. Everything seem to be going well. Only the level one and two's attack. The level three's stayed behind Tyki.

Kanda continue to destroy the akuma's as they came as an endless line. His blue eyes scan the area. Allen was ignoring the Akuma and attacking the Noah while Lavi was with him. He didn't know how long they fought already. The clearing was covered with akuma remains and Allen was beaten up. Blood covered him more than Lavi and Kanda combine. His breathing was erect and he was slowing down. Looking around the Level three's were still there. He was in the trees, trying to stay quiet. A whistle was heard as soon as the last level two was destroy, then the Level three's attack. Turning his attention back from the Noah and Allen, he blue eyes narrow on the Level three's.

"Why are they going to attack them?" Allen asks, coughing up blood as he was pin roughly on the tree. Barely out of sight, a rough kiss was place onto him. Moaning slightly, Tyki smirked.

"Shounen. You are doing great. I wanted to see you. I doubt killing them would do harm to our plan." Tyki softly says. Allen tried to pull away but the pain stopped him. "What are you doing?"

"Let go Master." Allen calmly explains. Tyki slowly pull away and dropped the boy.

"Now. It's time for the plan to be complete." Allen's eyes widen. He didn't like that plan but he can't go against his master. "Get up shounen. I want to make sure the exorcist see what happen." Before Allen could get up right, he was smacked back across the clearing. Sitting up, his eyes were wide. Kanda and Lavi turn to face him from the loud noise. Blood ticked down from his mouth as Tyki grib his neck and left upper arm. "It's time." Allen didn't have enough time to hold back a scream. Green lights splatter everywhere as he destroyed the innocence. "Good bye shounen.

Tyki smirked at Allen. Fear was scene in his eyes.

_Act._

Yes, his beautiful shounen was doing well for his mission. Pinning Allen down again, Allen tried to fight back against the Noah. The beautiful boy was covered in blood and dirt. His curse eye was activated with the Akuma's around. His silver eyes filled with tears and fear of wanting to save all the Akuma's and defeating the powerful Noah. Tyki looked back at Kanda. His smirk widens. His body was pin down by four level three's. His innocence was out of reach. Placing a teeze above his heart, Allen's eyes widen. _No...Master..No.. _Tears began become droplets as Allen began to fight back more. Tyki lean down against his ear.

"Act shounen. You are mine forever. This is for me and the mission. Now act." Allen stop moving as Tyki faze through Allen to his heart. Everything happens at once. Kanda didn't know what was going on, one second the large butterflies disappear and the next, Allen was screaming. From pain in the heart to the shock of hurt. His master never hurt him like this before. Tyki pulled away with a sadist smile. With a snap of a finger everything disappears, leaving Allen and Kanda alone.

Kanda scramble up and ran to Allen. Allen's eyes were dilated from pain and blood was flowing around him. Looking around, his innocence was destroyed. Blinking a few times, he mutters some curses. He knew picking Allen up would be fatal and he needed help quick. Both do. The mission went wrong. It went down the wrong road big time. Calling Komui up, his mind was fuzzed.

Allen tried to breath. He couldn't. He tried to move. Negative. Pain was felt. Just pain. -I need help.- Allen tried to figure out that voice. Was it Komui and Kanda talking. The boy wanted to smile. He wanted the pain to go away. Trying to move, he heard Kanda shout at him. -Innocence destroyed.- Allen frown. Why did he destroy his innocence?

_Act shounen. You are mine forever._

Allen just smiled at Tyki's words. Maybe he needed to act more. He was his forever.

* * *

Allen was place under super vision in the hospital wing. An IV attached to him so he will get fluids. Blood was cleaned off him so he could be place in bed but he lost to much blood. His missing arm was patched up and the other arm was patched up so it won't bleed anymore. His condition was stable even with his hole in his heart. His innocence had saved him. The nurse kept an eye on him in case his condition went down. But his process was slowly going up instead. When Allen first woke up again, a week since he got back, he ordered three times more than he usually order.

The next month in the order went without him. He was sent to train with Bak and Fou to get his innocence back. Without Allen, it was less shiny for everyone. They hope Allen could get his innocence back. A man not in action was hard on the exorcist too. Lenalee worried over Allen and wanted him back, Lavi was sad that the boy wasn't here to talk too. Kanda was happy that no one bothered him about the subject. But only thirty days later, Allen was back in action with a new innocence. Crown Clown and more of a personality.

Allen was happy with Lou Fa's attention in the Asian Branch with Rikei and Shifu. Timcampy kept an eye on him when he wasn't training so he won't over do it. But the pain from his master wouldn't fade. Even after many sorry from him and getting his arm back he hated the feeling. When he was training to get his arm back, it was hard. He couldn't contrintrate with his Master in mind. The only reason he got his innocence Crown Clown was because his Master helped him by sending an Akuma. His master destroyed and recreated his innocence. It was really funny.

But he got his new orders. Orders that will help him in his plans later.

_Tell him your love._

Allen remembers those words coming out of his master's mouth when he saw him after he got his new innocence. He felt proud that his master was pleased that he lived and grew stronger. Allen was happy to hear that. But the next few words were orders. Orders to make Kanda realize his love for him, Tyki says he knew that the Asian likes him but is keeping it a secret. He was to act in love with Kanda.

Looking down at his innocence, he smiled. He got the plan down. He was ready to get it into action. If his master's words were right, then everything should be easy and simple. Walking to the familiar room, he placed his facial up.

"Kanda." He opens the door knowing it was unlocked. Kanda usually locks the door if he didn't' want anyone in but after this showers he keeps in unlock.

"What Moyashi? It's late at night." Kanda growled.

"Kanda..." Allen blushed. Walking over to Kanda, he looks up to the familiar blue eyes he loves. "I love you." He bluntly placed it. He didn't waste any time. Kanda didn't flinch but slightly blush. He quickly hid it before Allen saw it. Allen knew he was blushing. "Kanda Yu. Do you love me?" Walking over to hug Kanda, his white hair brushed against Kanda's chin. Kanda looked away. He didn't know what to do or how to answer. Rejection was sent to anyone if they show any love to him. Like his 'father' Teidoll and Lavi the idiot. But Allen, he just couldn't say no right now.

"I don't know." Kanda answer after a few long minutes. Allen let a laugh out and let go. How could you not know? It's a yes or no question. Reject or accept.

"How could you not know?" Allen asks quietly. "You don't have to tell me now. Tell me when I get back from my mission. It seems Komui wants me to get back a few finders and innocence in London." Before Kanda could answer to the white hair boy he ran off. Kanda frown. So Allen was going to get his answer once he got back?

So Allen did wait. He was gone for god oh long but he waited. He didn't call Kanda or ask Komui to get him. But Kanda on the other hand was getting more impatient. At first it was rejection but Kanda threw away the answer. Each day was pure torture without the white hair boy. In the other missions he ignored the feeling but this time he realize what it was. He was worry over the damn brat. He wanted him back in his arms like the first mission they had together and for the name Bakanda to come up. Kanda didn't want Allen to disappear like a light in his life.

What is Allen to him? He was a beautiful boy. He had secrets as Kanda has his. They weren't friends or enemies but.......lovers? They loved each other as a curse has been place on to them, but their stubbornness been keeping them apart. Kanda probably still held on to some.

It's been almost three weeks Allen went on to the mission. Somehow Allen got injured and Kanda was sent to pick them up with Lavi. Much to his displeasure Lavi smiled when he heard this. He was going on a mission with this best friend after all. The red headed glomp Kanda.

"Yu! It's been so long. Usually it's with Allen or solo these days. Are you lovers with Allen? It seems he had taken a liking to you." Lavi explain before Kanda pry Lavi off him so he could sit down in the train.

"Baka Usagi. Go ask the idiot himself? I sure he could kill himself if he has the chance."

"Yu. Don't say that. Sure Allen was cold like you, he would have stayed that way if he didn't hang out with Lenalee and me, but he does have emotions. I think he will think twice before he kills himself." Kanda che'd. Allen always had shown emotion to Kanda the most, even in the beginning. It was little at first but it got bigger each day.

When they got off the train Allen was waiting for them. His hospital clothes still on as he waves at them. A smile plaster on his pale white face.

"Allen. You should be inside still. Where's your coat? It's cold." Lavi scold the boy as if he was a child. Pulling his own coat off he gave it to Allen which made Kanda narrow his eyes. The boy gave a small nod only. "Where's the other finders?"

"I was the only one released today. It seems I got the short end of the stick. I didn't want that. But more there was more than one akuma. More than a few hundred actually."

"Sure. Sure. Tell me later when I get food for you. Let's go to a hotel room and there you can tell me your lovely story. Do you have anything you want or can I just get anything?" Lavi asked. Walking to the hotel, a room was rented.

"I don't mind. I can order it myself if you want Lavi. I don't mind." Allen was pushed onto the bed before he could get out of the room.

"Nope. You are sick and you need rest."

"I was injured and I'm better now!"

"Nope. Yu watch him. Then we can go back tomorrow if the finders are fine. I'm sure they are getting better still." Lavi explain. Slamming the door shut the room filled with a cold silence. Allen didn't bring the topic up. Kanda didn't want to say anything.

"Oi. Moyashi." Allen turns to face Kanda. "If you actually got yourself killed I would kill you in the underworld for leaving me suffering of Lavi's complaining over you. The boys eyes widen then the next thing surprised Kanda. The boy was laughing. Fucking laughing. Allen knew that Kanda was worried now. Worry that Allen had died in this mission. When the laughter died down, Kanda wasn't next to him anymore. He was sitting in a chair with his arms crossed.

"What's wrong BaKanda? It seems you have something on your mind. Do you want to talk about it?"

"You." Kanda commented. His heart almost flutter with the voice and name.

"Huh? You?" Allen cocks his head to the side.

"I hate you."

"I know. Can you tell me something I don't know yet?" Allen explains. Kanda looks up to face Allen but looked away with a growl. It was hard for Kanda to explain the feeling. Allen makes it seem so easy. But Allen didn't understand on Kanda conflict. All he got through the message was that he hated him like usual. The Asian got up quickly making Allen flinch. Pulling them in a quick kiss, Allen's eyes widen. When it ended, he stood frozen. He didn't respond to the quick kiss. It was a major surprise but a smile mange to form. A big smile had formed.

"I see. I love you too Kanda." Leaning up, he gave him a small peck on the lips again. Unknowing to both that Allen's mind was becoming confused.

-----

When they got back to the order news exploded that Kanda and Allen got together. Kanda wasn't fazed by it so they wouldn't had believed it but Allen was a different story. He blushed every time he was ask if he was Kanda's lover and ran off to hid in the Asian's room. As time passed, the rumors died now and accepted that Kanda and Allen are now lovers. They fought and kissed like one, but they seem uneasy at the same time.

Kanda didn't like to express his feelings through words but action. Every time he could kiss Allen he would making the boy blush more. Allen always kissed Kanda back, eager for more but stopped before anything happen. Lavi and Lenalee always kept an eye on Kanda too. They didn't want Allen to be harm; after all he was 'fragile'. Kanda could see Allen was fragile. He was afraid that Kanda would leave him one day and Kanda made sure he told Allen he would never will. The boy seems he had been broken tons of time but Allen denies that. The only other time he was broken was when his parents abandon him but he had no memory of that. So Kanda made sure that Allen was safely in his arms each night.

_Love him like you love me._

Each day they were always next to each other. They spent so much time together that it was rare to see one without the other anymore. Allen sometimes held onto Kanda's hand for hours at a time but other times a few minutes. Both didn't dare to take the next step. Kanda didn't want to push it and Allen was to shy.

Days blended into weeks. Then weeks blended into a months and a month blended into a year. A year of growing love and being together. Within that year Allen stopped blushing when he kissed in public and will hug Kanda randomly. He sometimes just lean on Kanda. Unlike his master, only he can do anything. Kanda didn't mind that Allen wanted something. He was just happy, and everyone could see that, that Allen was with him. They still fought and went on alone times, but it barely held for a day or so.

"Damn it Moyashi. Stop acting so reckless." Kanda shouted at Allen who he was training with. "I'm surprised you haven't died out there yet."

"That's because I have someone who's strong to protect me." Allen smile. He knew he sometimes attacked recklessly, making everyone, including Kanda, worry over him. From the first mission on killing those akumas to the last mission on going off to save some finders. Each time, Kanda somehow saved him.

"Che." Walking off, Allen followed him. "Moyashi. I need some space today." Allen stopped in his tracks. A sad look felled on to his face. He didn't want to leave Kanda but if he wishes for it, he will.

Kanda walked out of the room. Any closer he would have taken Allen. He didn't want to cause Allen to be afraid of him if he didn't want it. A whole year together and they didn't any closer to sex. Allen will always blush and try not to seem awkward since this might be his first time. Pulling his bangs back, his pants were feeling tight again with the encounter with Allen. It always happen in the past week. And somehow Bookman Jr. figured it out within the week too. Lavi would tell Kanda to be careful with Allen if things do go that far. Kanda didn't want it to that far and each day the urge is getting hard to ignore.

Allen sigh as Kanda walked out. His lonely eyes turned cold. Why was everything starting feel so natural to him? It wasn't supposed too. It was an order from his Master. Nothing more and nothing less. Clenching his hands, he hopes that he wasn't falling for Kanda. He wasn't supposed too. It was all an act. An act to help with the big plan. With Kanda's help he got more information of the order that Komui wouldn't tell him. But he sense Kanda had a problem with something? It was the same feeling when Tyki had a problem with _that_. _That _wasn't horrible just that it seems Tyki doesn't like it when he had to keep a secret sometimes. Meaning it lead to a horrible thing.

"Allen....Where's Kanda?" Lenalee ask spotting the white hair boy alone. Walking up to him, he turn to face the short hair girl, his expression changed. Her hair was growing back from the horrible mission about a half a year ago.

"He said he wanted space today." Allen explains. "Does he mean it as a break up?" Lenalee look at the confused boy. She knew about Kanda's little problem too. Giving a small smile, she let out a small laugh.

"Kanda has a problem that he doesn't want to involve you with." Allen cocks his head to the side. Was it _that _problem?

"Is it that bad to not involve me?" Lenalee chuckle and walked away leaving the questions linger in the air. "Lenalee!" Allen shouted to the girl who just shrugged him off. Frowning he figure he get the answers out of Lavi. Running to the red head boy, Lavi was in the library as usually, studying away the information Bookman gave him. "Lavi." The one eye boy looks up to see Allen and smiled.

"What's wrong Allen?"

"Does Kanda have a problem?" Allen ask quickly. Lavi place the book he was holding down. Kanda. Problem? Doesn't he always have a problem? Opening his mouth to state that, the look on Allen told him he wasn't talking about that. Then what? Lavi thought about that for a moment. Kanda wasn't with him. That problem was occurring recently. Connecting the notes he smirked. If Lavi could use this he could probably help Kanda.

"Yes Allen. He has a problem." Lavi answers. Allen's frown deepens. Lavi wanted to chuckle but Allen didn't find this amusing. He wanted to help Kanda even if he didn't know what the reason was.

"What's the problem?" Allen demanded. Lavi picked the book up again.

"Ask Yu. I'm sure he would like you to help." Lavi let the chuckle out. He wasn't blind. He knew Allen wasn't as innocent as everyone thought he was. Kanda wasn't his first. The only thing that bothered him was, who was Allen's first? "Ne. Allen who was your first?" Allen was quiet. Lavi knew the question was blunt but what harm can it do?

"My master." Lavi narrow his eyes. The red head knew this 'master' wasn't Cross. Throughout the year(s) everyone knew him, he stated about his master a few times only. No one knew about him other than the name 'master.' Allen would never tell them who he is and Lavi wanted to know. But the answer was not going to be told soon and Lavi knew it.

"Fine. Fine. That's all I need. You better go before Kanda takes his frustration out on someone else." Lavi explain as he turns his attention to the book again. Allen took the answer and walked out of the library. He didn't know where Kanda could be. His room, the training room, or the mess hall or even in his own room. If Kanda wanted to avoid him, he probably won't be in his or Allen's room. Deciding he should look at the mess hall since he was passing by, he looked in. Only a few finders were there. No one else. Continuing down the hall he went to the training room. Kanda wasn't in it either. He wasn't even there to meditate to 'clear his mind'.

Allen narrows his eyes. Why was he looking for Kanda again? To help him with his 'problem'. Since when did he look to help Kanda with his 'problem?' He belonged to his master. No one else. So why is he looking for Kanda? Stopping, his head was low. This was going to help bring everything together. And to make everything more realistic. Smiling, he nodded. That was the reason but deep down he knew that wasn't the reason. Beginning to walk again, he stepped into Kanda's room. He had to return sooner or later. Hopefully sooner than later.

Kanda was not in a good mood. He thought leaving Allen for the day would make things better. He trained in the woods, meditating to clear of his mind but that went the opposite. He took a fucking cold shower. THREE FUCKING TIMES. He was defiantly getting tired of this game in his head. Everything he tried didn't work. It was always images of Allen under him, moaning for him for more, his pale skin shown pink and cum over him. To Kanda it was beautiful, but reality was harsh. He didn't want to force Allen.

Opening his door to his room, he nearly closed it again. Allen was sitting there on his bed sitting there like a heartless doll. When the light shined in, his eyes looked at Kanda. First happiness was seen. When Kanda tried to close the door, irritation replaces the happiness. Allen caught the door in time before it was closed.

"Kanda......" Allen quietly says, his voice struggling to keep still when he kept the door open. "Do you have a problem?" Kanda almost slam Allen into the bed but he push Allen into the room and kissed him roughly. "Ka-nda" Allen pushes Kanda gently away.

_This wasn't an order. He wanted this too._

"Do you have a problem I can fix?" Kanda wanted to pin Allen down on the floor and pound into him sensesly . Growling instead he pulled away. He didn't want Allen to force himself on to him. "Kanda. Is there-"

"No." Kanda grunted out. The tent in his pants was becoming to tight again. Feeling Allen's hands on his crotch he look at the boy. His flush face was close to Kanda's face. Lips barely three centimeters apart from each other. "Moya-" Before he could finish Allen's nickname, Allen's lips sealed off Kanda's. Wrapping one arm around Kanda's neck, he slowly pulled away again.

_Just follow my orders._

"Kanda. You can have me. I'm all yours."

_The words slip out of his mouth without him realizing it._

Kanda smile gently. A rare thing for the Asian to do. Allen was his and he knew it. Bring Allen down into a hungry kiss, he picked up the small boy and straddle him on the bed. His hair felled off his shoulder and onto the side, his arms around Allen's head. Letting his tongue slide into the small mouth, Allen let out a small moan. Their small kisses soon turn greedy as Allen wrap his arm around Kanda's neck.

His Master's kisses were not like this. Sweet and lovely.

_He kissed Allen roughly as he smirked. He didn't wait for Allen to get ready to be in the mood. He tug the shirt away, Allen stayed still as his master's tongue trailed down._

Allen's eyes widen again as Kanda's hand trail down Allen's shirt. Pulling away slowly, their panting was the only noise other than the stripping of Allen's shirt. Lifting Allen up a little by the waist, he took the collar bone into his mouth and suck. Allen gasps at the sensation. Rubbing his hard on with Kanda's, a groan escapes from Kanda. Tangling into Kanda's hair, Kanda continue down onto his stomach. His hand shifted so one was one mid-back and lower back. Licking it down his stomach, he gave him a small kiss there.

_"Excoitated"_

"Beautiful." Allen blush as the word overlap _his_ word. He was never call beautiful. He knew how he look as rare and hard to find but same with Kanda. Lowing Allen back onto the bed, he strip the pants off Allen slowly. His pale skin seems so beautiful. Looking up back at Allen, he nearly gasps again. Allen's eyes were filled with love and pleasure, panting from pleasure.

Allen wanted Kanda to take him. His long hair was tangle since his hands ran through them. His hands traveling around his back, as his mouth kissed him. Letting out a moan, he felt Kanda travel down. He wanted Kanda. Looking at Kanda, he smiled. _My god. My love. He is the one I want. _Allen thought. _But he is not...godddd._ Everything on Allen's mind went empty as Kanda took his organ in his mouth. Letting out a low moan, he grasps Kanda's hair again. Kanda kept on sucking, enjoying the organ in his mouth. He moved up and down slowly and pulled away before the boy could come.

Pulling away, Allen groan from the lost of contact. Kanda gave him a small smirk. Not every day that both lovers could see something like this. Grabbing the lube, he straddles Allen again.

"I love you Kanda." The words seem right to Allen. When he felt the slick fingers slide in him, he didn't flinch. He was use to it after all. Wrapping his arm around Kanda's neck again, he kisses the Asian quickly. Looking into his eyes he smiled.

_It's not master's golden eyes._

Pushing the thoughts away again, everything before the order disappears. Bring their lips together, the third finger in making Allen groan in another intrusion. Kanda slowly eased the numb pain away. His blue locked on the young boys silver ones. Their hands soon locked with each other. "Kanda." Allen says. "Take me." The older man nodded. Aligning himself to Allen's opening, he pushed in slowly. Kanda kept his eyes on the boy for a reaction. He wanted to push into the tight warm hole.

"God. Allen." Kanda gasp. Lowering his head, he heard Allen gasp as he pushed in farther. Allen bit his lip and pushes Kanda so he was sitting on top of his lover. "What the fu-" He gasp has Allen sat fully on top of Kanda. Groaning, he lowers his head next to Kanda. "Tight." Kanda manages to gasp out. Feeling Allen's short gasp, the tightness was soon lifted and bang down making both boys moan in pleasure. The white hair boy repeated the action till he was riding Kanda in a steady pace. "Kanda." Allen gasp as the Asian hit his prostate. Everything went blank as he lifted himself off and slam down again. Kanda moved his hands onto Allen's hip and helped the boy move faster.

Both lost in each in each other's pleasure. Nothing both has experience. Allen wrap his arm around Kanda's neck as he cum. "Yuuu." His tenor voice moans out.

"Allenn..."Kanda grunted soon after emptying his seeds into the boy. Allen slowly faded the rhythm away. Pushing himself up, Allen's flush face smiled and gave Kanda a kiss.

"I love you Kanda..."

-----

Two years soon pass. Each day was the same with love and useless fights. From missions to the hospital wing. They no longer stood with each other always, knowing each other could protect themselves. But their loneliness was something that both didn't' enjoy. Allen grew from the small blossom flower three years ago to full bloom. He grew at least five centimeters in the last two years. His muscles had filled in two. Unlike Allen, Kanda didn't change as much.

Kanda didn't learn much more of Allen's past but he didn't care. His past was his concern anymore. But he saw everything on him. From the smallest scars to the biggest scars. He didn't know how Allen got them but Kanda didn't want him to get more. But with the dreadful missions, it was hard to stop.

Allen had fallen in love with Kanda despite his Master's orders. He always enjoys Kanda's hand in his and arms wrapped around his waist in bed. He love the blue eyes compare to the golden ones. He wanted to kiss Kanda. When Allen acted weird when Kanda came back from a mission, he didn't say anything. Kanda will stay by Allen's side even if he didn't say he would. Allen knew this but he didn't know he will stay with Kanda. He wanted to but that day will come soon.

**----**

--The Noah's were spotted a few minutes ago.--

Komui rushed out of his office. Finders just told him that one of them spotted the Noah's coming to them. Picking his golem, he narrows his eyes. First the exorcist. "Calling to all exorcists. Warnings of that Noah's coming here are heard. I don't know if akuma were with them or not." Komui explains into the golem.

"Komui." Allen's voice crackles into the golem. "Any orders?" Komui stopped into the science department. Numbers were everywhere. Possibility of them if all the Noah's came with akuma's was low. They couldn't possible win. How long did-... An explosion made Komui look around. Where was it? Screams was soon heard. Whipping his head around, the smoke could be seen. Just outside of the science department. Throwing his hat down, he ran out.

"Komui." Reever called. "We need to move out." Komui ignore Reever. Who was fighting the Noah? His eyes widen to see Allen without Kanda fighting the Noah. The Akuma's had spread out and the limited exorcist had started fighting. Only one Noah was seen. His curly brown hair and was in the air was if something was under him.

"Tyki. Why are you here?"

_The attack is today._

"The Earl told me to destroy the Order and to receive you." Tyki says. An attack to the Noah came soon. Allen looked at the samurai. His sword was pointing at Tyki as he move next to Allen. Tyki just narrow his eyes. A hesitation from Allen wasn't needed.

"Pull everything away." Allen ordered first. With a wave of a hand, the Akuma's pulled away making everyone look at him. Allen didn't care. He just need to do this.

"Come here shounen." Tyki ordered his lover. Kanda frown. Why was Allen following a Noah's order? Grabbing Allen's wrist, Allen pulled away quickly and ran to Tyki to hug him with a smile.

"Tyki. I missed you." Allen's words were full of love, just like how he talked to Kanda. His blue eyes widen. How did he turn a 180 so quickly?

"Oi. Moyashi. What are you-" Allen turn to face Kanda again. Those cold eyes he hadn't been seen for so long was back. Those eyes that had kept them separate for so long. Then a cruel smile and an evil laughter that didn't fit Allen's character at all filled the air. "Allen. What-" Before he could go on, Tyki bought them into a kiss which Allen returned. His silver eyes always stayed connect to Kanda's. Allen could see the betrayal, hurt and sadness in them. And of course, anger. But this feeling told him he should be with Kanda. Pushing the feeling away he turn to Tyki.

"Kanda. Thanks for all the help." Allen's muff voice echoed. "With everything..... the Noah's can destroy the..... Order now. Goodbye." A door was open from another Noah's power. Walking in, Kanda couldn't get Allen back. Allen was out of his reach now. The three years Kanda thought Allen was in his hand smacked in the head. Allen was never his. Allen never truly gave himself to Kanda. Even if he did, he didn't realize it.

"Moya-" Kanda shouted. Allen stops for a moment but continue to walk anyways. Turning to face Kanda with a real smile, he waved good bye.

--------

_Why did you make love to the boy?_

Those eight words came at Allen when they came back to the Noah's home. Allen looked at his Master. His emotionless eyes wanted to cry for some reason. Looking away, his Master smacked him. Tyki repeated the question. "Why did you make love to that boy?" And another question came. "Don't you love me?"

"I love you Master Tyki. I didn't make love to him Master. He fucked me thinking we were lovers but it was part of the plan so he will trust me more." Allen explains. He knew those words were wrong but are they?

_Liar._

Another smack came, this time it was harder and made Allen slam onto the ground with pain. Tyki pin Allen roughly. His arms were no use to of him. "I will erase all trace of him." Tyki spat. Pulling everything off Allen, he pulled roughly at Allen's hair. "No one can touch you. Not even that boy. That was a bad idea shounen." Pushing himself into Allen, the boy screamed in pain. He went with no preparation. Tyki didn't wait till he was ready for the pain to be gone before he pull out again. Each thrust ripped at Allen. Each thrust made him feel dirty. Clenching onto the floor, he knew his hands were becoming bloody too from scratching the floor. But the feeling was numb against him.

"This is your punishment shounen." When everything was finish, Tyki pulled out and redress himself., leaving Allen in pain. "Don't disobey or think on your own. You are mine. My slave, my lover, and my doll. Nothing more." Tyki explain.

"Yes master." Allen says in a broken voice. The same voice from three years ago that Tyki recognize. Sighing, he picked up the injured boy. Bringing him the bath room, he strip down again and step into the warm tub.

"I am sorry. I don't like people touching my items."

"I understand master." Allen looked at Tyki. His golden eyes were filled with love. Bring their lips together, he didn't let go. He loved him after all. But why was his heart clenching like this? Tyki loved him but did Allen love him too still?

* * *

_Allen continue to run even if he was far away now. He couldn't stay there any longer. -Mana.- Little Allen began to cry.- Mana died.- Running away from the grave, tears over spilled. The man bought him back but he killed him again. Why did he kill him? The small boy didn't stop as he continue to run and run. Suddenly he was picked up. Looking around with tears in his eyes, hs saw a man close up. The ten year old stared at the twenty year old._

_"Shounen. Why are you sad?" The tears stopped. The man looks like the Earl. Moving his curious hands over the stigmata, the man laughed. "I'm Tyki Mikk."_

_"Tyki?" His small voice echoes the name. "Dad just died." Allen explains. Sitting down on the dirt in Tyki's lap, Tyki wipe the tears away._

_"Do you want me to love you? I barely know you but I will love you if you love me." Allen stared. What can a ten year old say if someone ask you that? Allen nodded. "That's good. All you have to do is follow my orders and I will love you."_

_Allen nodded and hugs the man. He didn't have anyone anymore. If the man was going to give everything to him, he will accept. That was the best choice to choose. "Tyki. I hope I can love you."_

Allen jolt up from the dream. Looking around the dark room, Tyki was beside him. Crawling up the Noah's chest he didn't give much thought about the dream. The last time he dreamed in Tyki's room was a long time ago. He hasn't dreamt for a long time. That was the day he meet Tyki. That day he got love from his master for the first time. Closing his eyes again the dreams continue.

_"This is your home. From now on I am your Master." Tyki explain. Allen looked around the mansion. "What is your name Shounen?"_

_"Allen." Allen quietly says. Tyki smile at and pull them into a kiss which Allen blushed at. _

_"That's a good name. But shounen is better. From now on you cannot act on your emotions unless I tell you. And call me Master too. Wait here and don't do anything." Tyki explain. Leaving the boy alone in the living room, he walked into another room to talk with his family of Allen._

_Allen looked around the room. It was dark but beautiful. Looking around the room again, a little girl was on the other side of the room with a tore up doll. Her golden eyes mirrored Tyki's._

_"You must be Allen that Tyki picked up. I can see why." The girl was about his age, if not, younger. Allen opens his mouth to ask who she was but she beat him to it. "I'm Road Kamelot." Road says. "If you Tyki picked you up, you are his pet." Allen cocks his head to the side. "I can't wait till you're so obedient to him but you want to break away." Road started laughing and walked away. Allen didn't have anything to say. What could he say to the Noah of Dreams._

The next few months were torture. Allen was trained to become obedient and obey Tyki's will. At first the punishments weren't bad but they got worse. The first training was to say 'Yes, Master.' and follow every word that Tyki asked. It was easy till he ask to give him a kiss. A ten year old doesn't kiss. He got smack till Tyki got enough and sent him to bed without dinner.

_"Shounen you just need to give me a kiss." Tyki says. Allen didn't want too so he stayed still. The ten year old stared. Tyki held out his hand to Allen. "Shounen." _

_"I don't…" The older man smacks Allen. How many times today already? "Master. I…"_

_"Follow my orders. How hard is that?" Allen remained silent. "I want it right now." Looking away, he felt a smack down at him again. "Shounen." Allen looks back at the piss off Tyki. Biting his lip, he didn't move. Tyki didn't understand how hard it was to kiss someone. Allen just needs to give him a peak on the lips. The ten year old didn't have anything to lose. After a few minutes of silence, Tyki got up and walk to the door. "You can stay here with no food and water till you can follow that order. You will get more than kissing after this one."_

The second lesson didn't come till he completed it. It was to mask his feelings. That wasn't as hard but keeping it 24/7 was. He gotten beaten up each time he had shown any emotions. Even during the beatings he had to keep a calm look on his face. Not only that but to give oral and anal sex with an emotionless look. That took longer than the 'Yes, Master.' When he got it down, everything began to run smoothly. His emotionless actions took a toll on his thoughts too. He barely thought about anything more after a few months once he completed it.

Tyki always told him he loved him. Telling him he was proud of his improvements and if he was beaten, he was sorry but he had to learn. He gives Allen kisses and pleasure but nothing too far. Lesson three was to kill without mercy. An exorcist was used for this lesson. He was capture and broken by Road. Killing him was easy. With his emotions gone, the blood and boy didn't bother him anymore. He became a killer at age twelve. It surprised a lot of people that Allen didn't break down yet. The boy was fragile when he saw his first killing before the lessons. Road was setting an example on when he finish all the lessons. But just a few months later he had a break down. But Tyki fixed with kisses. Lesson four came a year later after many missions of killing. It was the test.

_"Shounen." The thirteen year old stared at the twenty-two year old. "It's time." Allen remained quiet for orders. Tyki place his hand on the cheek, he rubs his cheeks. Those beautiful eyes to Tyki were the same as a killer and as a lover to him. "I want you." Giving the boy a kiss, Allen didn't struggle. His master's words are his will. Tyki stripped of their cloths and didn't wait for Allen to be prepared. _

_Forcing himself into Allen, the boy wanted to scream of pain. He couldn't show pain so he bit his lip. A wrong move. Tyki smacked him. "Don't show pain or emotion." Allen nodded in responds. When he started to move, Allen couldn't take the small movement and let out a small whimper. When the thrusting begin his whimpers turn to screams. Tyki covered his mouth with a hand with annoyance and continue to thrust. Allen wanted him to stop but he couldn't stop his master. _

_"Mapphssstphher"(master) Allen called as he cum. How could he get pleasure out of this? Tyki pulled out and smacked Allen again. Blood tick down his thighs and mouth. His tears slid down from his eyes. Everything he tried to hold together become undone._

_"You fail this test." Tyki snap. Walking out of the room, Allen didn't see his master for the next two days. Meaning he was to stay on bed for the 48 hour period. _

Allen jolt awake again. Pain was felt. Fear, the feeling of fear was felt. He laughed. When was the last time he felt fear? It's been so long. He was train to take down the enemy even if it killed him. Even during the three years at the order, nothing was real. All the fear he faked wasn't real. He had forgotten how it felt. And the fear was coming for his lover. Looking at Tyki, he pulled away. He couldn't stay with him anymore and Allen knew this. He couldn't last. He loved Kanda.

But Kanda wasn't his master. Tyki will always have control over him. Tyki was there when Mana died. He was there when he took his virginity. He was there when he first killed someone. He was there when a break down a few months after had. He knew all of his sides. He was able to control him. Giving a small laugh, he looked outside the window. He was going to break free. No matter what.

**---**

Allen didn't leave. He stayed. Each day was torture. Just like how he first entered the Dark Order. Tyki didn't see any difference between the old and the Allen now. He kept his emotions concealed. Time slowly passed but Allen didn't pay attention to the time. He had to figure out a way to get away from Tyki.

But the days blended into weeks a lot slower. Each day was cover in blood with Tyki. Allen wanted to wither away from the Earth from the killing. He didn't want to kill anymore. His heart was slowly breaking away with each person dying by his hand. The missions were focus on exorcist too. Meaning he had to kill every exorcist that Tyki ordered him to kill.

"Shounen." Tyki says. Allen looked up from the bed to his master. It's been a day without his Master and everything else.

"Yes Master." Allen says coldly. Tyki tug him into his lap and kissed his head, making sure he didn't hit the bruises on Allen. Was he going on another mission? Tyki always does this before he goes off in a mission to kill someone without him. Looking at his Master, his guess was right. The Noah's eyes glitter at the thought of killing. "Is it a mission?" Tyki nodded. "What's the mission?"

"To kill everyone in the order. We have enough Level four's to kill them off easily. The Earl wants them gone so he can continue his plan." Tyki explains. Nuzzling the young boy's neck, Allen looked away. "You will go back and be as a hostage. We already know everything. We just need one of us to be in there. I don't know the day we will be going but once you hear my voice, you will attack." Tyki pulled them into a quick kiss. "Can you do that?"

"Yes Master."

"Good boy. Now go. But be sure you are alive when I see you next." Allen nodded. Pushing himself away from Tyki he walked out of the room. Pulling a coat on, he activates his innocence.

"I'm going now." Allen says. He always he say them when he leaves someone. Even if no one heard him. Jumping out of the window his white hair flutter in the wind.

Kanda pulled his sword back from the air. It's been nine months since Allen left. The weeks after Allen disappear was awkward with everyone. They trusted Allen and felt betrayed. But if they feel betrayed Kanda must be heartbroken. Who knew Allen was lovers with a Noah and more or less using Kanda? No one did. But Kanda became anger when Allen he thought he knew didn't come back. He waited but eventually given up. He decided that the next time he see Allen, his hands will be covered by his own hands. Pulling the blind fold off, he scan the area. The forest remained the same over the years. Frowning, the sun was up already.

A rustling sound made Kanda turn to face the noise, grabbing his sword he got ready to fight. Then it came from a different place. The noise didn't come from a single place. It moved. Closing his eyes, the noise stop and chuckle was heard making Kanda look around again. That chuckle was something he hated. "I see you haven't change." He growl at the familiar voice. Just the thought of him was making him hallucinate?

Allen wanted to hug Kanda but he knew the man must hate him now. Nine months had past and his hatred must be large now. "Master have order me to kill everyone." Jumping into a different spot he frowns. "I will cause you bloodshed Kanda." The name was quiet but he knew Kanda heard it. His eyes were dark. "What do you think of that Kanda?"

"Come out _Allen_." Kanda spat the name out back at Allen. Allen sighed. He finally got the name out of Kanda and they were enemies. Stepping out of the clearing he made sure his bruises on his face wasn't seen. Tyki was still made he made love with Kanda. Each night with Tyki was torture. Looking at Kanda, he knew he saw some of the markings. His pale skin was marbled in some places. "Do you think I allow you to kill everyone off? Including me?"

"Yes." Allen says softly. "Master's order is my will." Allen recited. Looking away, he clenches his fist. Kanda was going to be his first kill here. Both of them knew this was going to be a fight. Allen smiled to himself. It wasn't like this before. They were seriously aiming to kill. Activating Crown Clown, Kanda attacked the boy. His movements were swift and clear. Dodging the attacks his mind went to automatic. It was time to kill. "Ne. Kanda. How many petals do you have left in the lotus? The last time I checked, it was five wasn't?" A sadist smirk appear. Kanda stopped. Somehow Allen changed into a killer.

"It's none of your business." Kanda snap. Placing his sword in front of him, he activates Nigentou. "Nigentou, Hakka Tourou." Allen easily dodges the attack. He didn't have time for this. Allen needed to kill Kanda in order to be capture as a hostage if all the exorcist were to go after him.

Pinning Kanda down quickly, he held Kanda's hands and straddling him. Smirking, his silver eyes glowed with sadist. All Kanda could do was stare, his sword in hand but he couldn't pull it free. Staring back at Allen, the silver eyes were far from familiar. The hatred in him disappears. He couldn't hate Allen even with the betrayal. He couldn't hate him but if he was going to kill everyone he has to kill him to save them. Kanda couldn't let Allen live if everyone he knows will die.

"Goodbye Kanda." Allen sneers. Pulling Kanda's Mugen away, he pulled it up to spike it down.

"I love you Allen." Kanda quietly says. Allen halts when he heard those words. His silver eyes widen. Love? Why did Kanda love him still? Didn't Kanda hate Allen? Confusion swept through his eyes. "Moyashi." His eyes widen again at the nickname. How long did he yearn to hear it? Tears overflowed as he spike down. Kanda kept his eyes open and stared at Allen. The tearful eyes widen in shook again. Kanda narrow his eyes. Why in shook? Looking at the hand that was holding his sword, Mugen went into Allen. "Moyashi!" Kanda pushed Allen off and held him gently. Pulling the sword out he called out to Allen. "Moyashi." Allen remained still. He couldn't kill Kanda. He just couldn't. But he had to do it in a way that his Master won't figure anything out.

Kanda picked the boy up and ran back to the order. _Why Allen? Why? _Ran through Kanda's head. He didn't understand what was going on. Just that Allen had Mugen go through him and blood was seeping around them. "Komui." Kanda shouted. He didn't know why he went to the main office.

"Yes Kanda-s...Why is Allen here?" Komui asked. His eyes narrow on the British boy in Kanda hand. His pale skin was getting paler and his emotionless eyes were dark. "What happen?" His eyes scan the body and saw blood.

"He was trying to kill me but he couldn't so he had impaled the sword into himself." Kanda quickly explain. His voice began to panic. Something Kanda rarely does.

"Kanda-san. Calm down. Let's go to the Hospital wing quickly. We have to get that wound close. Even if he's a traitor, I won't allow anyone to die if we can save them." Kanda nodded. Hurrying the injured boy, they quickly got to action when they got into the hospital wing. The doctors pushed Kanda out of the way and place the boy on a bed.

Kanda had to wait outside from the sugary room. _Why did Allen do that? _Kanda thought. Allen looked like he would have seriously killed him if he didn't say I love you. Kanda's eyes widen. _Maybe moyashi did like me...not his master?_ Kanda took the possibility out of his head. Allen told him, himself that he was acting all along. Everything they did was nothing.

A few hours later, the sugary was finish. All Allen need to do is, wake up. Walking into the room, Allen looked at peaceful. Looping their hands together, Allen didn't stir. Looking around Allen, he finally noticed that Allen was chained up. His innocence was wrapped around with seals and was chained up against the bed. A needle shot was next to the bed. _Did they sedate him? _Kanda's eyes narrowed. They didn't have to go so far to keep him bound. Looking back at Allen's face, his drowsy eyes opened. Looking around a few moments, he found Kanda. Blinking a few times he felled back to sleep.

----------

"What do you mean Allen would be locked up? He's still injured Nii-san." Lenalee shouted at her brother. "They can't just lock him up. They won't care for him." Komui looked away from the trio. Kanda remained quiet as Lavi survey the conversation. Of course bookman junior wants to know everything about the _'Destroyer of Time_.' Komui pushed his glasses in more and gave everyone a sigh. His job wasn't an easy one either.

"The higher ups don't trust Allen anymore. The title _Destroyer of Time_ hasn't been cleared either. They don't want Allen to kill off the entire exorcist we have. He has to regain our trust."

"He didn't kill Kanda." Lenalee snap.

"Because they use to be 'lovers'. He might remember some of his best times here with Kanda. Who knows?" Komui explain. He hated to play the cold blood man. "Kanda did you tell him anything?" Komui asked.

"Che. Baka Moyashi has to get himself into trouble." Kanda muttered. "I told him........I....." Kanda looked away. He couldn't say it here. Lavi caught Kanda's hesitation and smiled brightly.

"Yu-chan still likes Allen." Lavi announced. "After all these months you still love him. It must be true love f-" Lavi didn't get to finish the sentence before Mugen was up on this throat. His blue eyes harden with venom against Lavi.

"Don't talk about Moyashi or use my given name." He spat. Kanda didn't want to be reminded of that. "You can do whatever you want with _Allen_." The mockery of the name was differently heard. "That stupid bastard deserves everything. If he can betray so easily he can take all the torture from everyone." Lenalee stood up and walked to Kanda with haste. Her hand went to action as she smacked Kanda. Kanda didn't flinch from the pain or from surprise.

"Kanda. How can you say that? You try to lock him up away from your pain. But when you come back and realize you can't lock him up you try to keep him away. You love him. Everyone knows that. Is it that painful that you have to lock him up and cause the same pain you felt? Allen-kun was marble with bruises other than that wound. Everything else tells us he seem like he was abused Kanda. Do you have anything else to say about that?" Lenalee snap. Kanda remained quiet. He wanted to spit the words back at her for being his 'big sister' and being there for him all the time but his pride made he kept quiet.

"Lenalee…" Lavi begun. He didn't mean to change the moods. "Yu. You do love Allen right? Do you want to see Allen in any more pain?" Kanda clench his fist.

"Do whatever you want. I don't care." Those meaningless words left his mouth as he walked out of the office. He didn't care about Allen. He did love him. DID love. But that was going to change. That was all Kanda believed in as he walked into his own room and locked the door for a restless night.

-------

_---It hurts. Why does it hurt?---_

_Bare all your pain_

The British boy open his eyes to the white sealed off room. Scanning the area he notice that he was bound. Giving a sigh, he looked around for more. The seals were keeping him from moving and causing the pain. His silver eyes narrowed. Allen knew he was capture. Hanging his head, he felt the wound from the sword reopen. The pain felt like Tyki's punishments coming at him slowly.

"Mr. Walker." Allen looked up to the voice. His silver eyes narrow. "I am Malcolm C. Levrier. I will be questioning you." Allen didn't blink at the man. He didn't seem to care. "Why did you betray the order?" Allen remains silent. The man narrowed his eyes as well. "Mr. Walker. Are you going to remain silent? I will get answers out of you."

"Mr. Levrier. I doubt your punishments can do much harm to me. I have gone through training where I almost died. The exorcist job is just merely a game to me. Do you still want the statement?" This time Levrier remain silent. "I was never on your side Mr. Levrier." His cold voice rang. "Just like the Bookmans' here." A shock cut him off making him flinch. Giving a small pitiful shrug he let out a smile.

"Why do you work for the Noah?" Levrier asks the next question. Allen shrugged again. Another shock, Allen grunted. The blood was seeping through the fabric. Allen didn't mind. He lost enough blood already to not get bother by it. He probably produced more blood than anyone here in the order. "Answer me." A larger shock.

"Heh. Using violence on me already?" Allen asks. Allen decided he was going to act cocky. "You're no different than my Master." Allen didn't need to look up to see the disaproval look. Or the hatred in him. He knew the higher ups needed him still for being an exorcist. Looking up, blood ticked down his mouth. His smile grew. This was going to be a long entertaining night.

--------a few hours later

"Mr. Walker. I have enough of your games. Answer my questions." Levrier says calmly. Allen knew better. Under that fake calmness was anger.

"I'm not playing anything. I want a regular conversation but you won't let it happen. What is wrong with it?" Allen says with a smile. It was so fun to let out his Black Character out. "Any ways. Should I tell you about the lovely plan that Master has in plan for you?" That caught Levrier's attention. Allen smirked. "Ne-" Another shock. This one was much larger than the first. They grew and grew at Levrier patience became thinner. Allen guessed he wanted to know. Looking at the blond man, his smirk dropped. "This order will go down with all the exorcist. The Noah's will take over and you will have nothing to help you. Fire will start; the world will end by the Noah's." Allen explains. His cold voice rang. "Nothing will save you."

"Mr. Walker. What is the meaning of this? Why are you with them?" Allen lowers his head. The game was getting boring. Allen sighed. Road was being an influence here. It was time to answer everything.

"Master saved me." Allen explains. "That is why I am with them. Nothing more and nothing less." Levrier narrowed his eyes on the young adult. Why was Allen starting to talk now after hours of torture?

"So you will stay on their side no matter what?" Allen let out a chuckle out. He didn't answer the question but decide to remain silent for the rest of the night. Levrier didn't like that answer. "Is that all? If it is, I come back later. I won't let the order disappear, even if the entire group of exorcist dies, this order will continue." Allen didn't pay attention. He has to wait for his master's order.

--

_"Kanda. Look. Isn't the flower beautiful? We don't have that much flowers in the order. It seems Lenalee is trying to get Komui to persuade the higher ups to get a garden." Allen explains as he stroke one of the flowers petal. _

_"Che." Kanda commented. He didn't care about those flowers if he can see his flower each day. Allen only saw it a few times and always stares at the dying flower. Allen looked back up and smiled. _

_"The flowers are so much like humans right?" Allen says._

Kanda jolt up from the dream. A dream on one of their short missions together. They were waiting for the train when they saw a flower field. It was six months before Allen left with the Noah's again. Allen was explaining how flowers were like everyone. At first they were buds, but as time pass they grow and change like butterflies. With the Earth's help, they grow and grow till they turn to what they really are. Kanda threw his bed sheet off an looked over at the Lotus. Five had turned to two the last time Allen was here.

Allen didn't kill him for a reason. But what was it? Maybe because he was confused, or because he wanted to be captured? Throwing his coat on him and walked out of the room, only to meet Timcampy.

"Stupid Golem why are you here?" Kanda spat. Tim flutters his wings. "What?" The golem pushed Kanda back in the room. Opening its mouth, a screen showed Allen in a bed trembling. Kanda narrow his eyes on the fresh bruises. The screen went close to Allen to see tears but his eyes were emotionless.

_"Tim. I'm fine. This isn't the first time Master got mad at me. If I can't bear it, nothing will go smoothly in this house." Allen pushed himself up. His whole upper body and down to his upper thighs were covered in bruises. Cum and blood leaked down from his anus. Walking to the bathroom, his limp and trembling body caught the wall so he could walk easier._

_"This is my punishment after all Tim." His voice cracked. "For everything I shouldn't had done with Kanda." Tears stream down. "I shouldn't have but I did. I'm sorry." Allen cried. The feelings pour; he didn't care if his master will punish him more if he found out. He wanted the pain to disappear. "I'm sorry Kanda."_

Kanda stared at the scene. Kanda had seen Allen cried tons of time but none full of regret like this. Did he regret hurting Kanda?

"Oi. Stupid golem. Did he regret being with me?" Timcampy shook his head. "How about hurting me and leaving with that fucking Noah?" It took a little longer before Tim nod his head. "Baka Moyashi." Grabbing his sword, he ran out of his room. He went to the office quickly. _I have to save him. Allen is just pretending. _Kanda thought. Komui was in his office, surprisingly filling out some paper work.

"Komui. Where's moyashi?" Komui looked up and left a smile out.

"I knew you will ask sooner or later. But that was really quick. Less than twenty-four hours quick. He's up in the higher levels. To the second to last level up. That's all I know. Thos rooms are the only ones that can be place on seals. Outside will have guards but I doubt Levrier will continue after sixteen hours in that room.

"What do you mean inside that room?"

"Kanda. Allen is being treason with betrayal of the order and helping the Noah's. They are going to get answers out of him through many methods. Since today was the first day I doubt they use more than the seals. You should hurry if you want to save Allen."

Kanda didn't need to be told twice as he ran out of the office. Running up the higher levels, everything was bare expect the darkness. Lights were lite every so often meaning only one or two lights per a hall way. No one used this part since there wasn't as much finders as exorcist. Even so, there were barely over 300 hundred finders. It was only enough to fill up only five levels.

Scanning the doors, they all looked the same. "Moyashi!" Kanda shouted. He didn't care if he was betraying the order too. He needed to save Allen.

"MOYASHI!" Allen looked up. His silver eyes widen. The blurry eyes looked around. _Kanda? Why am I looking forward to see Kanda and not Master? _Allen couldn't shout back. He was too weak now. From all the seals and blood lose. He couldn't even move his arm or lift his head anymore. Tears stream down. _I can't act anymore. I can't._

"Kanda." Allen chocked out.

Kanda stopped. He heard his name. Looking at the door he was in front of, a seal was on the handle. How could have he missed that small detailed. Pulling Mugen out, he sliced in half. Opening the door, Allen was on the floor in a muddle of his own blood. His silver eyes were dim but they somehow brighten when they saw Kanda. "I'm sorry." Was all Kanda heard before he ran over. He quickly took the seals off. Unwrapping everything, bloods stain most of it. Allen hissed in pain as Kanda touched his wound.

"Hold on moyashi. Don't die on me." Allen slowly lifted his hands to stop Kanda.

"Kanda." Allen says quietly. "You have to protect the order. Master is coming......to destroy the order." Allen explains. "Hurry." His hands slowly losing it's grip. Kanda notice his breathing was shallow too. "You-"

"I know Allen. First you. Hold on. Just hold on." Allen smiled and nodded. Compressing the major wound till it stops bleeding, and rewrapped it. Taking his coat off, he placed it on Allen. Picking him up bridal style, an explosion was heard.

"They are here. I guess Master trusted me to get the job done this fast. We have to protect the order." Allen explains.

"I know moyashi. Just calm down. We can protect ourselves." Kanda explain. Kanda made haste as he ran back down. It seems longer for some reason. Usually going up was longer than going down. "Hold on." He felt Allen nod, still weak from yesterday.

"This is nothing Bakanda. I had worse." Kanda wanted to smack Allen but that would make things worse. He will have to tell him later that all those wounds add up. They have to heal. "I will heal Kanda. I won't die. I was train not to die." Another explosion made Kanda turn around. Looking down at the twenty-one year old, he continues to run. He couldn't' stop to fight the Akuma's yet.

"Komui. The order." Kanda shouted, the office was scattered. Papers that were stacked hours ago were now all over the floor with the rest. Looking for a golem, he narrows his eyes to see his golem on the desk. Picking it up, the wings flutter. "Get Komui now." It's eye light up as it connect.

"Komui here. Please make it quick."

"It's Kanda." Kanda quickly says before Allen pull the golem to him.

"You have to leave. Master told me that there will be tons of level fours. You can't fight all of them. Master will bring his family too. You can't let the order die here. You can't." There was silence on the other end. Allen wanted to save everyone. He didn't know if all the exorcist was here or not. One level four can be easily beaten by an General but it took all the non-general exorcist to beat one. And with a little help of the generals. Looking at Kanda, Kanda could see fear in his eyes. "Pack the things you need and leave now."

"I'm sorry. Allen. I don't think we can do that. This is our home. We will protect it." Komui answer. We will be moving down toward Hevleska and go live underground till the attacks are over." Allen pushed himself off, before he could stand up right he felled.

"Komui. No. No. That won't stop any of the Noah's. That won't. Please. Wait till battle another day. If you do that you will know everything you need to know by Timcampy's memory. Please. I stay and you can leave.

_Don't betray me._

Allen let out a smile. He betrayed enough people already. He was done betraying. He will betray this last person to end everything. "Komui. I know my Master's weakness. I know all the Noah's weakness. Just let me deal with them. If you stay do not go outside. Stay inside. Got it?."

"I got that Allen." The connection was cut off. Kanda didn't have anything to say. All he knew was that Allen was going to fight. Kanda place the golem down and got up, his legs were weak still. Crown Clown was activated. His hand grabs Allen's. Allen turned to face Kanda.

"Kanda. I love you okay. Not my master. It was never my master. I regret hurting you. I regret a lot of things that should have been with you. This is the first time in a long time where I can choose which side I fight on. I can easily kill Noah's because I know their weakness. They can kill me too. But I won't die."

"Allen. You don't have to fight. You can just go away. Leave here with Komui." Allen laughed.

"Master will always find me. I have to cut all ties from everyone then. Or I can kill Master." Pulling away, Allen didn't look back as he walked out of the order.

_You can't run away from me._

Allen knew that was true. Even with Tyki dead, he is still chain by memories. But with Kanda he will live with it. He hated to leave him so he won't die. Kanda didn't realize Allen might die if he went against all the Noah's. Running after Allen, outside was covering bloodshed already. All the Akuma's were easily destroyed, just like that first mission. Kanda pulled his sword out and started to fight too.

"Shounen? Why are you fighting against us?" Kanda turn to face Tyki. Only Road was with him. Kanda didn't move. Normally he would but this was Allen's battle.

"Tyki Mikk. I'm not yours anymore." Allen quietly says. His strong eyes look at his former master. Tyki's eyes sneered. Allen knew Tyki was enjoying the rebellious side of him. He rarely showed it to Tyki because he always get punish for it.

"Shounen. Do you want to get punish? I'm sure your marble boyd is beautiful right now. You must be in pain. Come back now and I give you pleasure." Tyki explains. His voice threatens Allen with each word. Spitting each one with venom, words ready to kill. When Allen didn't go back, Tyki smiled. "Teez." Tons of butterflies flutter around. "Last chance shounen." Allen still didn't move. "Those last nine year was fun." Diving into battle, Allen blocks the attack.

His instinct was on. Everything he learned from Tyki was going to be used here. He can't let the will of not killing get in his way. The Noah and Allen kept on dodging each other's attack. Kanda kept on taking the akuma while Road was watching. Time seem to go in slow motion as trio got battered. Blood stain more of their cloths, breaths uneven from all the fighting. Allen's cold eyes scan the outcome. He had to end it quick.

Looking over at Kanda, he heard Tyki laugh. "So he's the boy that took you away from me? So if I kill him, will you come back with me?" Allen look at Tyki with hatred. "Road. Can you kill that person over there?"

"Tyki. I don't want to get dirty today. I want to play with Allen now." Road answer. "Only Allen for now."

"Tch. Why did you come then?" Tyki ask as he took a cigarette out.

"To watch you fight." Tyki sigh as he turn his attention back to Allen. "I feel like ending it now." Before Tyki could react, Allen jumped at Tyki and pin him down. His innocence going through the Noah fluidly. His blood tainted hand smeared with Tyki's blood. His cold eyes stared at Tyki as Road watched her family get kill. Kanda's eyes widen when Allen did this. Blood splatter around him as he kept on stabbing Tyki.

_Die._

_Kill._

_Enjoy._

That's what Tyki enjoyed as he killed. A smile grew on Allen's face as he kept on stabbing and stabbing. Kanda ran over to Allen, forgetting the unfinished Akuma.

"Moyashi. He's dead." Pulling Allen away, Allen looked at Kanda. The Asian didn't recognize the young adult. He was different. A sadist laugh left him. A laugh that was haunting, so unlike Allen. "Allen." Kanda shouted. Pulling them farther away, Road grab Tyki. Tears stream down the Noah of Dreams face.

"What did you do Allen? Why? He loved you!" Road spats. Allen didn't know what to do. His laughter subsided as his eyes return to normal. Looking down at his hands, he trembles. Looking at Kanda, guilt was written all over his face. "Allen." Allen turn to face Road again. "You. Will. Pay." Allen pushed Kanda out of the way as Road attacked. He knew that Road was weaker than her dream state but she could still kill.

Kanda didn't have time to react before Road strike at Allen. His stoic self broken by Allen was now scatter by the thought of Allen dying. Candles strike at Allen all over. A painful scream was let out. The candles pulled out of Allen as Road's eyes widen.

"Why Allen? I thought you love Tyki. He gave you everything Allen. From love, pleasure and warmth!" Allen chuckle as he felled to the ground.

"It was that at first. But it disappeared as soon as I lost my emotions. When I saw Kanda he gave me those things. Not at first but he did. And he still does even after many betrayals. I'm going to end everything Road." Kanda pulled him into an embrace. Looking at Kanda he smiled. "I'm sorry Kanda. For everything. I said I live but I didn't. I'm not going to after all this."

"What are you talking about?"

"Allen. No." Road shouted.

_Soushite bouya wa nemuri ni tsuita__  
__ikizuku hai no naka no honoo__  
__hitotsu futatsu to ukabu fukurami itoshii yokogao__  
__daichi ni taruru ikusen no yume yume_

**"Allen. This song is the double edge sword to all the Noah's. If you use it, we die, if the Noah's use it, it can get us anywhere we want and grant out wish."**

The haunting sound continued. Kanda could only watch as Allen stood up and sang. His long tenor voice was weak and unsmooth but the song was beautiful. Road watch in horror as her stigmata disappear. "Allen...No. No."

_Gin no hitomi no yuragu yoru ni__  
__umare ochita kagayaku omae__  
__ikuoku no toshitsuki ga__  
__ikutsu inori wo tsuchi e kaeshitemo_

Kanda didn't understand what was going on. Allen wince in pain as the innocence began to disappear too. His eyes widen when he remember part of his innocence was in his heart. "Moyashi." He pulled Allen back as his eyes dim but he continue to sing. Everything was breaking apart. "Moyashi. That's enough!" Allen didn't pay attention to Kanda.

_I have to do this. I have to end it. If everything continues someone will live like me._ Allen thought. Looking at Kanda, he was a big blur. He couldn't see anymore. Tears streamed out. Walking over to the Asian he remembered all the good times. From the first mission to the 'I love You' days. And then from protecting each other to the betrayal and back.

_Watashi wa inori tsuzukeru__  
__douka konoko ni ai wo__  
__tsunaida te ni kisu wo_

_I love you. _Both Kanda and Allen knew that they did. That was why Kanda protected Allen and loved him after the betrayal. That is why Allen couldn't kill Kanda. Allen looked back at Road as her skin turned back to a tan color. Looking at his hand the innocence faded away. Kanda pulled Allen into his arms away as they felled down.

"Baka Moyashi. Why?" Allen looked at Kanda. For the first time, Allen sees Kanda crying. Kanda usually hid his tears if he did, Allen smiled.

"I choose you Kanda. I choose you, okay?" Kanda nodded. "No one else. Do you want me to love you?" Allen remembered Tyki's words. "I love you Kanda. I'm sorry for everything. If I realize this, we could have killed the Noah's faster."

"Stop talking. We need to get you help first." Allen smiled again. The young man grab the older man's hand.

"Do you love me? Do you want me to love you?" Kanda nodded. He didn't care where his pride was, he wanted Allen to be with him.

"Allen, what are you trying to say?" Picking the boy up, he felt the boy loosen his grip. "Hold on." Allen shook his head. Kanda tighten his hold on Allen.

"I'm....sorry...I...love...you...I...choose...you...Yu.."Allen let out a small smile and weakly pulls Kanda down for a kiss before he closed his eyes.

"Oi. Moyashi! What did I tell you? Hold on." Kanda snap. Shaking Allen gently he knew Allen was gone. From the three years and nine months Kanda knew him, he was truly lifeless now.

------

The funeral was quick and easy. When they looked everywhere, all the akuma, Noah and innocence disappeared. There was a big celebration for the end of the way because of Allen but Allen wasn't there. Lenalee and Lavi didn't believe Kanda when he told them he died. Everyone was dispatch from the Order. The war was over and soldiers are not needed. But Kanda remained to be the last person to leave.

"Kanda. Are you sure you won't leave with us?" Lenalee ask.

"Yes." Kanda bluntly says. "I have business to take care of." When Kanda was sure that he was the last one, he walked over to Allen's grave.

_"Kanda did you know that life has tons of choices? Even if I have a limited a limited life, choices are always near me."_

"Baka Moyashi. Getting yourself killed. But I have one thing to choose. I choose you."

Bring a sword out he stab himself in the heart. "This is my last petal. I choose you Allen." Kanda knew that Allen would yell at him for killing himself but Kanda chose him. He couldn't live without him anymore. Getting up, he started a fire from a candle.

_I choose you._

_

* * *

_

How is it? o.o? Plz give me your thoughts on this.

I tried to free everything from grammar and spelling but i'm not perfect. This story came out freely. Very freely and I couldn't just stop typing till this was out of the way XD...I don't think it's my best work. But it's not my worse either. But I rather like it. Some parts could have been better but I like it too.  
I also try to make it really sad and angsty(is that how you spell it?) but I don't think it went that way.

I don't know what else to change so plz tell me ^.^ REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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